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BDSM Healing & Deep Play | EL Winter Training


  • Erotic Living Inc (map)

8 Day Journey, 26th November - 3rd December @ Blue Mountains (near Katoomba)

“We never sat down and said: “We’re going to use kink to process trauma”. We just kind of did it one day. It can be very scary. But if done correctly and consensually and with the right partner(s), it can be something that is also very healing.”

“Using BDSM to Cope with Trauma” Vice Guide to Sex

One can use BDSM play to create art and also as a means to get very turned-on. Yes, one can do that.

But at a deeper level BDSM play is also a very powerful way to deal with trauma—both personal and cultural.

At this unique residential training, we will give you the opportunity to learn how to create deep and healing forms of play both for yourself and those who you love.

From our experience, these forms of play have the capacity to open you up and release deep-seated pain and fear, while showing you new ways of living and being with others.

During the 8-day training, you will learn:

1. Fantasies and the Concept of Play - we explore dominant fantasies in your life now and your lifetime peak erotic experiences. We discover play as a core concept of BDSM understood as a mimetic practice, similar to acting and theatre, i.e, a space where you can say and do what you can’t elsewhere and realise yourself beyond the constraints of everyday reality.

* To learn more about this, check out the chapters on the “core erotic theme” and "troublesome turn-ons" in The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin 

2. How to Conduct Play Sessions from Beginning to End - how to find play partners who nurture and support your journey, how to experiment with costumes and props; the subtle art of negotiation; tools to play with and eroticise emotions, such as gratitude, devotion, shame, anger, sadness, fear — even sweetness, gentleness and naivety; shibari, impact play, new forms of play beyond those you may already be familiar with, such as interrogation play, mummification, chastity, age play.


3. How to Use BDSM to Grow as a Human Being - we give you an effective framework for making and accepting invitations (whether single or partnered); for integrating BDSM in the context of a stable relationship (whether short term or long term, play partner or lover); using play to look at what troubles you personally, socially and existentially (eg. body shame, shyness, personal and inter-generational trauma, injustice, mortality, feelings of powerlessness, of being unwanted, abandoned, ageing, abused.); what to do if a play session or BDSM relationship breaks down; how to repair and go on; the spiritual dimensions of BDSM.

*To learn more about the spiritual dimensions of BDSM, see Radical Ecstasy by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton

4. The Power of Community - You can do this deep work alone or even solely within the boundaries of your couple relationship. However, you will go much further, faster—and ultimately be much safer—with the support of an informed, ethical community of people who have been doing this work for a long time. Community gives you emotional support, accountability and especially a language to process what’s happening to you. Whatever your current relationship status and wherever you are on your BDSM journey, the training is an ideal place to make new friends and deepen old ones while evolving your practice and self-understanding.

How Will the Training be Conducted?

The training combines 8 days and 8 nights of embodied practice, workshops, play, ceremony and artistic installations. It is strongly recommended to come for the whole period to get the full benefit. However, if you are unable to, it is still possible for you to enrol. Contact Us!

The training is wholistic, combining embodiment practice each morning (TRE, breath-work, yoga, tai chi, dance and co-regulation), BDSM skill workshops in the afternoon, curated ceremonies and play spaces at night.

This is deep work. Group check-ins and processing will also happen throughout the training. Time will also be allotted each day by the faculty to provide one-on-one mentoring for you for whatever you may be grappling with.

Who is the Training For?

This journey is recommended for people who already have some experience with BDSM, as well as an embodiment practice such as yoga, tantra, martial arts and/or dance. If you are uncertain whether you qualify, please let us know when you schedule your call with us.

Because the group dynamic is very important to the success of this journey, you are invited to book a conversation with us before enrolling. It is also possible to make contact through email or PM to Peter Banki through Facebook Messenger.

The 2021 summer edition will be led by el Lead Faculty Peter Banki, Ph.D, Ira Zev (somatic kink educators) and Avalon (one of the highest level Shibari rope practitioners in Australia). el Assistant Faculty Nadia Nauss and Ron van Twuiver (tantra practitioners), Sarah Roffey (therapeutic support).

EL 2021 Winter Faculty

Where will it happen?

The EL Winter Training will take place at a beautiful retreat sanctuary near Katoomba in the Blue Mountains, NSW. It was originally a Buddhist sanctuary. As it was built for monks, there is only single bed accomodation available. Camping or caravan is also possible. There are single bed rooms as well as shared accomodation. Because of the arrangement we have the owners, whether you stay in a room at the retreat or camp, caravan or stay off-site, tickets are all the same price.

How much does it cost?

The exact prices will be given during the call. There are discounts if you book in combination with an EL festival and/or chose to come with another person.

Catering for the retreat is purchased with your ticket. Self-catering, while not advised, is also possible. The resident caterer, Marcin Paszkowski, is a vegan chef. Have a look at our previous ITW menus to get an idea of what he will cook.

What People are Saying about Us

“I have been coming to Erotic Living events since 2017 and, although I have attended similar workshops, each time has given me a different experience and ways to reflect and be a better person - to myself and to others - not only in the erotic space, but in all aspects of my personal and professional life. I will be coming for many years to come and wish I had these opportunities given to me as a young woman. Always learning and enjoying it!” Kim McBurnie, Coach, Sydney

"I've been to Into the Wild for the last three years and for me, each one has been even better than the last. I always learn new and often unexpected things...about myself, others, and the sphere of sexuality. There is always plenty to challenge, stimulate and excite me, amazing people to connect with, fresh perspectives to be exposed to, and so much to contemplate and process. I always come home 'alive' - re-invigorated, switched on and excited about the possibilities life and human connection have to offer. It's been of enormous benefit to me personally and in my work as a psychotherapist working in the field of sexuality." JB, Psychologist

"I would 100% recommend Into the Wild to anyone who is willing to explore the full potential of their sexuality. I went in with no expectations and came with a totally new perspective on my sexual potency and potential. My repertoire of sexual games and ways to communicate consciously during sex have increased exponentially. Thank you!" Carolyn L.