At Erotic Living we advocate for a conscious body approach to kink. However we also acknowledge that misunderstandings can easily arise if one stays only at the body level. For this reason, we strongly advise that in kink play you negotiate what you’re going to do together beforehand. Whether you’re a top or a bottom, you should do this for your own safety and protection. Moreover, it dramatically increases your chances of having a good time together.

Many people think that negotiating boundaries and consent is only to protect the bottom. It is also to protect the top. As a top, the last thing you want is to be accused of crossing the bottom’s boundaries or violating their consent.

Negotiate beforehand for your own protection - and have a better time together!

These are some of the things that you can include in your pre-scene negotiations:

• what you want to do together

• why you want to do it - for example, what you're each hoping to get out of it

• your boundaries - for both top and bottom

• how to communicate if one partner wishes to stop or slow down (safewords, signals etc)

Negotiation should always happen before a BDSM session takes place.

Other things to remember: when we practice BDSM consciously, we prioritise listening to our own and our partners’ bodies. We listen to the breath and to the reactions of our nervous systems and emotions. We also inform ourselves about the body’s anatomy.

In the video below you’ll see an example of how to negotiate a scene. We recognise how important negotiation is for safe deep play, and we are committed to modelling good and detailed negotiation practice for you.

The password for the video is EL

Spring has arrived on the East coast of Australia. To celebrate N. and I have a had Good Whipping Session, which we'd like to share with you.

As part of this scene we have modelled a detailed negotiation practice for you, while also showing what we did. We hope you enjoy it.